Adirondack Original

Your icy blue 'stache makes Nepal look like a kitty city. Once, in the Andes, I told you that I wanted to lick your ear but what I really meant was that your mouth is a graveyard of original seltzer. Sometimes I want to scream loudly in your ear and tell you to change the goddamn litter box before Slut shits on the rug. Get back to me when you learn how to ride a bike.