Sexting for Dummies

Dissociator : Do you have an SUV?
Person: Nope
D: That's really too bad
P: Sorry :-(
D: Because if you did
P: I can't drive
D: Well any type of license wouldn't permit you to do the things I want to do to you
P: (Thumbs up emoticon)
D: Thumbs up to fucking on the dashboard
D: Asshole
D: Not to mention the jump seat
D: Or a helicopter
D: Because I would horrify you
D: I would wrap you in gauze and drench you in gran marnier. And then I would unwrap you and lick the liqueur off your naked body in small counter-clockwise circles.
P: I only do that in helicopters
D: There's a reason they call it the cockpit
D: Can you conceptualize a kitchen counter rendezvous
D: Because I can
D: Marble
D: Or granite
D: I'm honestly down for either
D: As long as you coat me in vanilla shortening and molasses
D: The hood of my car is sturdy
D: Just fyi
D: Because honestly I have a taser
D: Do you wanna be tased
D: Because I'll give you about 5000 volts
D: Where you want it most
D: And we both know where that is
D: And then we'll get waxed
D: Or some erotic laser hair removal